June's Moody Musings
Greetings, dear readers!
Yes, I am alive! Yes, I still maintain this blog, but you’ll have to forgive me, I’ve done a terrible job keeping up with the month of June. It’s hard to believe the first month of summer is already drawing to a close. While it went by seemingly so fast, I must admit there were many, many days when I felt completely lost and stuck. I think every writer in entitled to a few days every so often where they wake up wondering what in the world are they doing, but it seemed I ran into those mental roadblocks a bit more frequently in June. Perhaps it was the change of season, but I found myself struggling to find my focus. Pair that with the constant guilt that I should be writing more, more, MORE every waking moment of the day, and it makes for an uncomfortable mental space.
Since the release of Sovereign Sieged in May, I have been preparing to dive back into the Realm of Virtues for Jax’s next adventure. Yet, every time I sat down to write about Jax, I’d get down a good 1600+ words, then wake up the next day and question “Am I starting this story in the right place?” I did this four times. In the past four weeks, I have rewritten the opening chapters of the next Court of Mystery novel four times. Obviously, something wasn’t meshing, and I finally allowed myself to take a break. Finishing one book and diving into the next has worked for me in the past, but this time, it was clear my brain needed a breather from the Realm of Virtues. Well, maybe not the realm itself, but the drama about to unfold. So, I opted to devote my braincells to crafting a short story, a little reprieve, featuring a young George Solomon and his first few months in the Ducal Guard. It was a wonderful writing experience, visiting my beloved characters at a different, less chaotic time in their lives. The 16000-word short story proved an excellent respite, down to my experimenting with creating my own eBook cover. Yet, with the story waiting for my editor’s review, I found myself hesitant to leap forward and dive into the next Court of Mystery novel.
Thankfully, the beta reader feedback from my cozy mystery work-in-progress also funneled in mid-month, and I’ve been consumed with perfecting my manuscript to send off to my agent. And when I say consumed, it’s all I can think about. I’m nitpicking over every page, thinking I’ve finished, only to reread and start tearing it apart again. I’m trying to remember if I felt this obsessed while I was working on my first cozy mystery, and I don’t think I did. When I sold my first series, I was eager to get it out into the world; with this book, I feel like I’m sabotaging myself by waiting around, continuously revising. To rectify this problem, I’ve set a goal to have my proposal ready after the Fourth of July holiday, and I intend to meet that deadline. It won’t do me any good to continue to drag my feet anymore than I already have.
I’ve also spent so much of my time getting lost in social media and the headline swirling around the Internet that I feel like this is the reason I’ve fallen far behind. I’ve let myself down by letting my attention be consumed with celebrities and the media, instead of writing and bringing to life all the stories in my head. I know its not feasible to be writing all the time, but I’ve tried taking steps to limit distractions in my life. I’ve disconnected from my private Instagram account, which I would spend hours on, scrolling through vicious comments, trying to have a conversation with unreasonable strangers, and following the most mundane of celebrity news. It wasn’t healthy for my self-esteem, nor was it healthy to my work. The amount of writing I’ve done since disconnecting has doubled, but I feel like my obsession with social media has transferred to obsessing over my manuscript. I often find myself needing to take a few steps back, a few deep breaths, something I encourage you all to do anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed.
So, to combat this overwhelming need to constantly be “perfecting” my current WIP, I have been reading. Not the most earth-shattering relaxation technique, but it has been helping a great deal. Whenever I feel the telltale nervous anxiety clawing into my psyche, I put down my laptop, grab a book, and unwind for ten minutes. I then return to my work with new focus and perspective. While it certainly hasn’t been the cure for this strange mood I find myself in, it definitely helps keep me in check. And I’ve rekindled my love for history-based, secret government agency thrillers, which has been a delight (shout out to James Rollins’s Sigma Force series).
While I hope July brings me inspiration and progress, I am grateful for the battles I’ve been fighting this month. These pitfalls have taught me that yes, even doing what you love can get tough, but your passion can see you safely through.
Arms around,
S.B.